"I Am Able"
"I dream of one day to ride a bike,
Then on my list I would take a mile hike,
The next day I'd get into a car,
I would take a long trip with my family, oh so far,
I would put my left foot in front of my right,
I'd run so fast with all of my might,
I would spread my wings as wide as they'd go,
Just where I'd end up only God knows,
I want to jump up as high as I can,
To know God gets all the credit and not man,
I am going to live my life as pleasing to You,
I've decided to be obedient to what You want me to do."
Some of you have asked about what difficulties, or for better words, physical disability I display. I have felt very strongly to share with all of you some of my experiences. Nobody likes conflict! This is safe to say. Most everyone wants to live their lives peacefully. I mean, who wouldn't want too. You can view this two ways. The difficulties we endure can either be a blessing or a curse. We choose the outcome based on our attitude during the trial. I have spoken in detail on previous post about how God sometimes uses struggles in our lives as a "wake up call". He wants to get our attention. And unfortunately for most of us, this is the case. We live in such a "fast-paced" world. And a I need it done now mentality. We are all guilty, including myself, of not slowing down and giving God our best! So, we are mostly content with giving Him our "leftovers" or "crumbs" (a quick prayer here and there) that drop from our tables or we at least hope that will be sufficient for Him. We all live life unexpectedly, if you think about it. We all have things that are edged in stone about our lives like our personalities (God created us). But we don't know things like the security of our income, health issues (I know this one), or even car problems, just name a few. These are all unforeseeable issues we we can't control. We need to realize, life is one BIG puzzle, and everything that happens to us is a piece of the puzzle. We can either choose to allow God to put these pieces together for us in the right place (follow His plan for our life), or we can do it ourselves, maybe never getting the correct pieces in their places (maybe never executing God's plan for their lives). (Jeremiah 29:11-"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"). When we all face trials they have a tendency to strengthen, mature us and somewhat make us more complete. A lot of times, these trials mold us into what God wants us to be. Anyway, let me get back to my original thought (sufferings). I suffer from a physical disability called Thoracic Degenerative Disc Disease (TDDD). I was diagnosed just over two years ago. There is no surgery or medical procedure available to date to correct this issue. The only option I was given was pain management and that was the best one. But little did I know, God would use this time not to heal my physical body (back), but to start transforming my heart on the inside (Expect the Unexpected). You know, a renewing of my mind and heart. It was during this trial I had my own expectation. I expected to be healed physically. But you know, God is God! And I know, He sees the bigger picture. I found myself actually hurting worse than I had before. But, what I have found in the midst of MY storm was peace. A perfect peace that only God, no human could provide. The best way to describe this peace, was a very "calming" peace. I longed for God's Word more and more. I couldn't get enough of it. I felt as if I was being turned inside out (like we do with certain clothing) only to be washed in hot water (growth hurts). The hot water is the significance of making sure the clothes are clean. I'm telling you when we allow God to clean us up, He does a rather thorough job. Last Year, I felt prompted by God to start a blog and call it "No, Pain, No Gain". The thoughts got stronger and stronger for starting this. I couldn't shake the feeling that I needed to do this no matter what kind of pain I was in. The Good News is, little did I know, there I go saying, "little did I know" again. But God did! And He knew He was going to use this blogging instrument to heal my heart, and draw me closer to Him while being an encouragement to others. Especially, those dealing with chronic pain like I do. He started by giving me scriptures to look up (not having a clue what they said). I would sit down to write, and He would give me the words to put on paper, just as if I was dictating a letter for Him (I kind of was). So many times, I would be woken up in the middle of the night to write things down, only to realize I wasn't sure where they would fit in with the post I was currently working on. This happened and continues to happen ALL the time. I'm telling you, God has such a sense of humor. I would go back to bed only to get up and start jotting words down again, in which connected with the words He woke me up earlier to write down. And before I knew it, I had a newly completed post finished before the one I was currently working on. And without fail, I am usually told to post the last one first. That's crazy in normal thinking. But, I know I serve a BIG GOD! And He is forever looking out for my best interest and the interest of His children (what we need, when we need it). I believe, God is more interested in our spiritual well being, than our physical healing. I'm not saying that our physical hurts are not important to Him, because they are. And He can heal you! But what I am saying, is it's far more important that our hearts be given to His Son, Jesus so we can live forever with Him. Well, I appreciate you all who taking to time to read my (short) story. However, I do have one more thing to share with you. I woke up thinking about the story of David and Goliath. I believe God gave me a different look at this story. Anyway, here is what I wrote down. Well, It's been almost a year since the "unexpected" happened (kidney stones surgery). We all know that we all go through difficulties everyday. They sometimes seem all day long. The past 3 years has kind of reminded me of a movie called "Groundhog Day". I think we've all seen this movie one time or another. You know, where the main character gets up and does the same thing over everyday. But, what we seem to forget is that through those similar days there are little incidents that take place to change the course of the next day. Well, that happens to us each day, and those incidents are little "nuggets" that do make a change for the better. Sometimes those little "happenings" can change the course of your life. (2 Corinthians 4:18- "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.") We can be assured, God does bring us hope during our most darkest days. It's only natural to focus on Goliath (problem) and not the little pebble (solution) that David slew Goliath with. Here me out for a moment, you see everyone was so focused on the BIG problem (Goliath) and how he was going to destroy David. But you know, most of time God works in ways we don't always understand or expect. Who knew, the little shepherd boy named David and his little "nugget" (pebble-solution) would be victorious over such a huge problem in the natural (our own physical eyes). I can honestly say God works "best" in things we don't foresee. (2 Corinthians 5:7 "We live by faith, not by sight.") So I challenge all of you to stop looking at your (Goliath) problems and try to focus on the (David) solution that God is able to deliver you from.
